Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
