Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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