you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Someone signed my nipple.
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