Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
