She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
