do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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