I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
