he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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