the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
