I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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