yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
