Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
