apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
