we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
