I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
