I want to have your abortion
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize