Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
