I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
