she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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