i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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