I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
