I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
