Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
