there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Four minutes until I can fart!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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