He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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