And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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