You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
