Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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