Whod you bang
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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