the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
