Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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