I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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