i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
