I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
