I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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