We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
