Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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