I wanna passion pit in your ass
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
