Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
