o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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