They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
