I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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