Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
