How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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