the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
