After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
