wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
