She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
