ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
