Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
